Have a fuckall New Year. :)

In my continuing downward spiral of self-pity, I spent New Year's Eve at an intimate gathering at my parents' friends' house.  It was just me, 4 middle-aged couples, and one of the husband's elderly father making polite conversation while drinking wine and champers.  No one got drunk, no one flirted, and I don't even want to think of the possibility of any of those people getting laid (EW!  The only "old people" sex I want to see happen involves Johnny Depp... preferably solo).  Most anti-NYE of all...the party ended at 10:30 pm (when you party with the "over the hill" crowd, regular bedtimes are regarded as unbreakable appointments).  It was less than thrilling.  At least I was the youngest, prettiest, and skinniest bitch there. :)

When I relayed all of this to the guy I'm currently non-exclusively dating (let's call him NED), his response was "I'm glad you at least did something.  I was worried you'd just be stuck at home."  Absolute sign that I am pathetic.  I've honestly never liked  NYE parties because it's always an overpriced, unsophisticated clusterfuck.  Instead, my tradition is a bottle of champagne, a hoard of junk food, and a stack of DVDs (all movies that came out in 2012 that I kind of wanted to see but never got around to watching until NYE).  Why wasn't I out with NED?  It's not that he didn't invite me to tag along.  However, I'm on the rag and, thus, my vag is unavailable for sex right now.  That all means that NED was going to be on the prowl for a one night stand, if not also someone new to date.  You know things are about as casual as they could possibly be if you aren't being asked for a proper date on NYE, but merely invited to be the "plus one" the day of, and a date doesn't happen unless sex is also going to happen (they aren't emotionally invested in you so that they want to spend time with you as a person by itself).  We've been dating for almost a month, so by now he should have figured out if he wants to make the commitment to dating exclusively.  I'm giving NED an additional week to make up for the fact that Christmas happened this month, and no one can expect to spend any quality time with someone new with all of the forced family time and other holiday craziness.  Also, that way the end can coincide with one of my new-ish favorite bands playing in a nearby city.  So, tell him to not text/call me anymore unless we both want just sex, and then go dance my ass off to a fan-fucking-tastic rock n roll band.  Perfect Friday night.  Followed by the next weekend when I'll be fucking Craigslist Guy for one last time (because it is kind of immature to continue on casual sex when I'm at a point when I need to get a rock on my ring finger and a baby in my uterus) and erasing the memory of sex with NED (which is pretty great, but no one's as straight-up amazing as CG...and every time is better than the last, mostly because we don't get to fuck that often and, therefore, can't wear each other out or get used to each other).

So here's to the new year.  May your 2013 be filled with mind-blowing sex and entertaining drunk adventures. :)