"You can do anything you set your mind to."

Seriously? That "inspirational" sentence should be banned, because it's just not true. No matter how hard I try, I'm failing miserably at life right now. I've hit a streak of bad luck, or I've just never realized what a loser I was until now.

Everyone gets depressed when there's a lack of gratification, I suppose. Self-doubt is exponential to the number of signs that you're headed in the right direction. Throw in a shitload of debt, and it's no wonder I feel like pounding my head against the wall. Aside from goofing off, the only joy I have had these past few days has ben writing a little more on a piece of fiction that's only a few pages long. I know that school's not supposed to be fun, but it wasn't a pain in the ass like it now is. I guess part of it is that I'm convinced I'll do miserably on my final exams like I did last semester. The other part is that I keep hitting metaphorical walls. Example, I had a graded practice oral argument last Saturday. I gave some tried and true advice to others who were also doing their practice arguments...in front of my professor, who decided at that moment to take into account previous experience concerning oral arguments when he graded us. Thanks to my innate niceness, my grade is lower than it probably would have been if I had been a bitch and kept my mouth shut. I am not asking to be absolutely seen as a novice, but it shouldn't have been allowed to pointedly color the grading of my performance, especially since there are other classmates who have also done what I have done outside of the classroom, but won't have it affect how they are graded. The moral of the story is detrimental to everything that people are taught as children, about being honest and forthright, helping others, and not attempting to undermine others. Good karma v. bad karma. No wonder people hate lawyers, if these are the key lessons that are taught in law school.