Sympathique

It's been a while, but I've been busy.

The verdict did come in for Kandin, although I was unable to be present when it was announced. Kind of glad I wasn't there because seeing his father fall apart would've been too heart-wrenching to watch with a stone-cold face. So, in case you haven't guessed it yet, the verdict was guilty for everything except extreme indifference, which doesn't mean jack shit when it comes to the actual sentencing. Basically, Kandin's going to prison for life. Maybe he can teach his fellow inmates how to behave like civilized beings, give them lessons on manners and whatnot.

I started writing a fictional piece about it, and I hope that I am able to finish it before I graduate from law school.

*WARNING: The rest of this is a rambling monologue. If you don't want to take a peek into my mind, don't read it.*

Last night I was reminded why I have such high standards to the point where I find it almost impossible to date, and why it's so wonderful to stick to those standards, as opposed to when I failed to and ended up dating my three exs (horrid men that no woman should be forced to spend time with). I'd rather be an ice-cold bitch than jump into bed with anyone who will have me.

Not to say that I don't get lonely. I do. I'm human just like everyone else. However, I can tolerate the loneliness, unlike so many others. There's no point in being in a relationship just so that you have a warm body.

I honestly don't care that some people think that I can't afford to be picky at all. And, yes, I know that I'll probably end up alone in the end, a bitter little old lady with a yippy purse dog, resentful over the fact that I don't have kids and grandkids and a husband. That's a fate that I am resigned to.

God, to be 24 and resigned to that as being the absolute truth. I am pathetic. *insert wistful smirk here*

I just ignored two phone calls from two different people. My God, I must be popular. Just kidding about the popular comment. Lord knows I'm not.

Right now I honestly don't want to be around people, particularly the people I was drinking with last night. Not because they're awful people, but I still need to mentally process some stuff. I made sure one of them didn't die in the middle of the night (choking on his own vomit while he was passed out, etc.) and that was enough.

I get...weird...when I get really drunk. Most people lose their inhibitions and get more loose and crazy. I become more prim and proper; my manners really start to shine through. For example, last night as I was leaving the final bar for the night, I picked up all of the empty bottles and glasses around me, brought them to the bar and thanked the bartender profusely for the water that he gave me to give to the friend who I had to check on this morning, That was after I had gotten so drunk that I puked on myself a bit.

Thank God I'm not really hungover, just somewhat dehydrated. I never really get hungover or blackout. It's nice that I'm always able to remember the night before, so that I can make amends or mercilessly mock those who can't remember.

I think I'll spend the rest of the day just drinking coffee and water while listening to "Sympathique" by Pink Martini over and over again until I can't stand the song anymore.