"You live a life of your own, girl, and I can't compare."

Who really needs or wants a relationship? It's just needless drama.

You want someone to be a source of emotional support? Try friends and family. Guy friends are infinitely preferable to boyfriends because you can get into emotionally tricky stuff without having to worry. If I want to bitch about how fat I am, I know that if a guy friend says that I'm skinny, it's true. However, if a boyfriend says that, then he may be lying because he's worried about pissing me off and then not getting sex later. Besides, who's going to understand how truly upset you are over the family dog dying? The guy you're been dating for two weeks or your friend who's been hanging out with you every Sunday for the past two years? Face it, boyfriends aren't around nearly long enough to be the best source of emotional support.

You want sex? There are dozens of toys for that. Who knows your body better than you do? If you really need a guy, that's what a casual sex arrangement is for. Friends with benefits can be a beautiful thing if done right.

You need someone to curl up on a couch with you while you watch a movie and greet you with kisses when you wake up? Get a dog. He'll never leave you for another woman, won't give you any lip about taking too long to get ready, and will be perfectly happy to watch a chick flick marathon with you. Better yet, you don't have to worry about impressing his friends or parents.

Buy yourself flowers (then you can get the ones you really like), and tell your parents to buy you jewelry for your birthday.

If you still insist on needing a guy, then maybe you should really consider why you feel the need to have a boyfriend. You could just be a closet gold-digger or desperate to get pregnant and start a family.