Zen

The town I'm in now has a legitimate tea house. There's something soothing about the ritual of making a cup of tea. Forcing yourself to just sit and be as you wait for the timer to signal that the tea is done steeping, smelling the aroma of the tea as it first hits the bottom of the cup.

Between last night and this morning, I've done some reflecting and thinking about these past couple of weeks. People think that I may have been acting strange, but in reality, I've been slipping back into who I am at the core of my being. It becomes tiring to be what everyone else wants me to be. I now know that there's no point in appeasing others if I can't live for myself. It's self-actualization. That's why I've dyed my hair, had a one night stand, and got down on the dance floor. I'm not acting out, I'm just learning to breathe. Last year I tried too hard to acclimate to my surroundings, all because everyone else was and I was too afraid to not be a lemming. Don't be a lemming, or you'll miss out on life. I'm also a big believer in fate. Everything major in your life happens for a reason, so half the time, you're best off just going with the flow instead of trying to wedge yourself in where you don't fit. Who knows where I'll go or what I'll do, but I might as well enjoy the ride.