The downside to being me...

When it comes to releasing negative emotions, especially when one's nerves are frayed, making it difficult to continue to bottle up those emotions, everyone has a basic way of release. Some people punch walls or throw objects, others let loose a stream of colorful phrases. I cry. I've been surviving on little sleep, dealing with a roommate who is self-absorbed (thanks for taking up half the free space between our beds with your new tv that I'm not allowed to touch without even asking if I was okay with that), and feeling like I don't belong. My RWA professor (reading, writing, and advocacy, not the three "r"s) insisted on critiquing each of our first papers in front of us individually. There's a reason why I've never auditioned for American Idol. Quite frankly, having to go in front of Simon Cowell and hear him try to use as many adjectives as possible to describe the terror that is my nonexistent singing voice does not sound like a fun time. Within the first few minutes of hearing my RWA professor critique my writing, I already wanted to punch him for sounding like such a pompous ass who enjoys ripping others limb from limb. I couldn't (because it's illegal and since it would be taking place within a law college, I'd probably be on Death Row in a matter of seconds), nor could I swear profusely at him and really give him a piece of my mind (did this once to another professor, and it felt absurdly satisfying). So, I did the only thing I could do and cried. Blamed it on exhaustion and missing my family since today is my brother's birthday, which he bought, hook, line, and sinker (what is it with even the nerdiest and most effeminate of straight guys getting a kick out of feeling like the stronger sex?). The fact that he was so gullible just made him seem like even more of an idiot in my eyes. I would be hard-pressed to not think poorly of him no matter what he does in the future. Not nice, I know, but it's the truth, and that is why I have this blog. So that I can be completely honest. It's frustrating always having to tiptoe around a lot of things and phrase things just so in order to avoid the chagrin of others. If I never had an outlet, I'd eventually snap. It's an unfortunate stipulation of functioning in polite society to never act abrasively. That's enough ranting for now, so, as that weird French guy on that one episode of The Hills said once, "Bye bye."